5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
