I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
