don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
