Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
