How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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