there's paper in my vomit.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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