if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
