Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
