I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
