Where did you get a picture of my penis
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
