I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
