You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
