Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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