It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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