I hate your face
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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