i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
