You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Alive.
So much puke
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
