So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
