If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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