Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
