that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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