Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
