If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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