maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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