People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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