Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
