I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
