It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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