I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
