There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
