He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
