The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
