Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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