Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
