He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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