Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize