i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
