we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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