This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize