We won't sleep together?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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