Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
