My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
