no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
