i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
