i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
