Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
