Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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