I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
