These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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