so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
