I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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