we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Panties = found
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
