Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
