no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
