So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
