He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
