Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Randomize
