I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I want her autograph on my taint
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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